This weeks joke

Legs said:
Reading a book called 'The Last Expedition' about Stanley's (of Livingstone fame) disastrous expedition through the Congo ...
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Interesting thing about the famous explorer Dr David Livingstone, who is lauded for his arduous exploratory treks through Africa, is that his wife Mary Moffat was at least as accomplished an explorer as the good doctor, but she is practically unknown in "English" history.

Unlike Livingstone, she was actually born in Africa to a Scottish missionary couple (I presume they used the missionary position to conceive her) and spent most of her life there. She accompanied Livingstone on I think all but one of his expeditions. She also bore a couple of children along the way. It is said that she wore full voluminous Victorian dress in the jungle, but I find that hard to believe of someone familiar with bush living. She would have been of much value to the expeditions because she spoke a bunch of African languages and was familiar with tribal customs. She is way better known and more respected in Africa than her husband.
 
Dellortoman said:
Interesting thing about the famous explorer Dr David Livingstone, who is lauded for his arduous exploratory treks through Africa, is that his wife Mary Moffat was at least as accomplished an explorer as the good doctor, but she is practically unknown in "English" history.

Unlike Livingstone, she was actually born in Africa to a Scottish missionary couple (I presume they used the missionary position to conceive her) and spent most of her life there. She accompanied Livingstone on I think all but one of his expeditions. She also bore a couple of children along the way. It is said that she wore full voluminous Victorian dress in the jungle, but I find that hard to believe of someone familiar with bush living. She would have been of much value to the expeditions because she spoke a bunch of African languages and was familiar with tribal customs. She is way better known and more respected in Africa than her husband.
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But she was a woman in a man's world.

Paul
 
Q: How many group members does it take to change a light bulb ?

1 to change the light bulb and to post that the light bulb has been changed.

14 to share similar experiences of changing light bulbs and how the light bulb could have been changed differently.

7 to caution about the dangers of changing light bulbs.

17 purists who use candles and are offended by light bulb discussions.

6 to argue over whether it's 'lightbulb' or 'light bulb'.

Another 6 to condemn those 6 as stupid.

22 to tell THOSE 6 to stop being jerks.

2 industry professionals to inform the group that the proper term is 'lamp'.

15 know-it-alls who claim they were in the industry, and that 'light bulb' is perfectly correct.

49 to post memes and gifs (several are of Michael Jackson eating popcorn with the words added, “I’m just here for the comments.”)

19 to post that this page is not about light bulbs and to please take this discussion to a light bulb page.

11 to defend the posting to this page saying that we all use light bulbs and therefore the posts are relevant here.

24 to discuss the merits of LED/swirly fluorescent light bulbs

44 to claim LED and fluorescent bulbs will kill you.

12 to post F.

8 to ask what F means.

7 to post 'Following' but there's 3 dots at the top right that means you don't have to.

3 to say "can't share"

2 to reply "can't share from a closed group"

36 People to post pics of their own light bulbs.

15 People to post "I can't see S$%^!" and use their own light bulbs.

6 to report the post or PM an admin because someone said "f÷×$"

4 to say "Didn't we go through this already a short time ago?".

13 to say "Do a search on light bulbs before posting questions about light bulbs".

1 to bring politics into the discussion by adding that (insert politician of choice) isn't the brightest bulb. This usually takes place within the first three comments.

50 more to get into personal attacks over their political views.

5 admins to ban the light bulb posters who took it all too seriously.

1 late arrival to comment on the original post 6 months later and start it all over again.
 
A young Irish boy goes off to college. Halfway through the semester, having foolishly squandered all his money……..he calls home.

"Dad" he says, "You won't believe what modern education is developing!

They actually have a program here in our institution that will teach our dog, Jack, how to talk!"

"That's amazing, "his father says. "How do I get Jack in that program?"

"Just send him down here with £10,000" the young boy says " and I'll get him in the course."

So his father sends the dog and £10,000. About two-thirds of the way into the semester, the money again runs out.

The boy calls home.

"So how's Jack doing son?" his father asks.

"Awesome, dad, he's talking up a storm," he says, "but you just won't believe this -- they've had such good results they have started to teach the animals how to read!"

"Read ??"says his father.

"No kidding! How do we get Jack in that program?"

"Just send £20,000, I'll get him in the class."

The money promptly arrives. But our hero has a problem.

At the end of the year, his father will find out the dog can neither talk, nor read.

So he shoots the dog!!!

When he arrives home at the end of the year, his father is all excited.

"Where's Jack? I just can't wait to see him read something and talk!"

"Dad" the boy says, "I have some grim news. Yesterday morning, just before we left to drive home, Jack was in the living room, kicked back in the recliner, reading The Economic Times, like he usually does.Then Jack turned to me and asked, "So, is your father still having an affair with that pretty lady Rachel who lives down the street ?"

The father went white and exclaimed, "I hope you shot that son of a bitch before he talks to your Mother!"

"I sure did, dad!

"That's my boy!"
The kid went on to law school and is now a politician.
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