This weeks joke

Humour is rooted in culture. There are very few norwegian jokes that I even get, let alone find funny. Often they are a play on obscure double meanings of words or about old events that a newcomer has no knowledge of. I used to think that I hadn't understood the punchline, but it was more that I didn't see the humour in it. It goes both ways too. I have not met many Norwegians who really liked Faulty Towers type shows.
 
After having dug to a depth of 10 feet last year, British scientists found traces of copper wire dating back 200 years and came to the conclusion that their ancestors already had a telephone network more than 150 years ago.

Not to be outdone by the Brit’s, in the weeks that followed, an American archaeologist dug to a depth of 20 feet, and shortly after, a story published in the New York Times: “American archaeologists, finding traces of 250-year-old copper wire, have concluded that their ancestors already had an advanced high-tech communications network 50 years earlier than the British”.

One week later, the state’s Dept of Minerals and Energy in Western Australia, reported the following:

“After digging as deep as 30 feet in Western Australia’s Pilbara region, Jack Lucknow, a self-taught archaeologist, reported that he found absolutely f**k all. Jack has therefore concluded that 250 years ago, Australia had already gone wireless.”

Just makes you bloody proud to be Australian.
 
I was visiting some friends last week and after a few beers we started telling the usual sick jokes.
I dropped the old "What do you do if an epileptic is having a seizure in the bath tub? Throw in the washing!" joke and my one friend said "My brother who had epilepsy had a seizure and died in a bath tub."
I felt horrible and said "I'm so sorry about that. Did he drown?"
He said "No. He choked on a sock."
 
helicopterjim said:
I was visiting some friends last week and after a few beers we started telling the usual sick jokes.
I dropped the old "What do you do if an epileptic is having a seizure in the bath tub? Throw in the washing!" joke and my one friend said "My brother who had epilepsy had a seizure and died in a bath tub."
I felt horrible and said "I'm so sorry about that. Did he drown?"
He said "No. He choked on a sock."
Click to expand...
Have you listened to armchair expert lately ?👶🤣👶👶👶
 
helicopterjim said:
I was visiting some friends last week and after a few beers we started telling the usual sick jokes.
I dropped the old "What do you do if an epileptic is having a seizure in the bath tub? Throw in the washing!" joke and my one friend said "My brother who had epilepsy had a seizure and died in a bath tub."
I felt horrible and said "I'm so sorry about that. Did he drown?"
He said "No. He choked on a sock."
Click to expand...
True story: I was invited to my new girlfriends house for dinner with her brother, and his new girlfriend. My girlfriend was a chef, and we ate a nice chicken soup.

Halfway through my girlfriend admitted that in fact it was not chicken, but crocodile.

They new girlfriend, stood up from her seat, turned around and vomited everywhere. The brother announced that her brother had been taken to his death, by a croc near Darwin, two months earlier.
 
chrisk said:
True story: I was invited to my new girlfriends house for dinner with her brother, and his new girlfriend. My girlfriend was a chef, and we ate a nice chicken soup.

Halfway through my girlfriend admitted that in fact it was not chicken, but crocodile.

They new girlfriend, stood up from her seat, turned around and vomited everywhere. The brother announced that her brother had been taken to his death, by a croc near Darwin, two months earlier.
Click to expand...
Yeah, but how did she know it was the same croc ??
 
chrisk said:
True story: I was invited to my new girlfriends house for dinner with her brother, and his new girlfriend. My girlfriend was a chef, and we ate a nice chicken soup.

Halfway through my girlfriend admitted that in fact it was not chicken, but crocodile.

They new girlfriend, stood up from her seat, turned around and vomited everywhere. The brother announced that her brother had been taken to his death, by a croc near Darwin, two months earlier.
Click to expand...
True story: I’m at one of two dinner parties I’ve ever been invited to, and made a Jehovah’s Witness joke, the host tells me me his parents are Jehovah’s witnesses ..I think, fuck off are they and do a half hour Jehovah routine.
Well how was I supposed to know?
 
Even true:
I had an old employee who received a severe, disfiguring gunshot wound in the face during World War II.
This employee regularly turtled with a female customer on the phone, e.g. "Beautiful woman" and other nice compliments she returned.
One day they met live the first time - she had a strong hump ......

Thomas aus LAU
 
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