This weeks joke

Mastroianni
Mastroianni
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lavgert said:
Hi Mastroianni, you should clean the lens of your camera - all your posted pix are a bit foggy! Ciao, Gert
lavgert said:
Hi Mastroianni, you should clean the lens of your camera - all your posted pix are a bit foggy! Ciao, Gert
That’s normal; my phone has been dropped several times, and unfortunately, the lens got damaged. I’ll replace it when the battery dies.
You could do a good deed—God sees you.


Little Johnny was dragging his Billy cart up the steep hill and passes a Priest, who can’t help hearing Little Johnny

“Come on you heavy son of a bitch, why the fuck do you feel so heavy today”

“Little boy, don’t curse, God is everywhere, he can hear you”

“Is he in the sky”
“Yes my son”

“Is he in the trees”
“Yes my son”

“Can god hear you”
“Yes my son”

“Is he in my billycart”
“Yes my son”

“Good, then tell him to get outa my fucken billycart, and help me push it up this fucken hill”
 
redax5 said:
imagine if you had four armpits and they still take your temperature up your bum
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Taking Charlie's temp at the vet - to his mind - is akin to being skinned alive. It is absolutely insane how traumatic is. The usual deal is 'you hold his front legs firmly while I do the biz at the back end'.

I have a couple of quite deep permanent scars on my right forearm from that first episode - he managed to get a leg out of my grip and scrape his claws down my arm, amid squeals of terror. And it's not unusual - I always remark to the vet that I'd be a millionaire many time over if i could invent and market a non-intrusive way to take a hound's temperature. The vets agree unanimously! There HAS to be a better way. Our neighbour said one of theirs has to be sedated prior - fookin madness.
 
piranha-bro2 said:
I always remark to the vet that I'd be a millionaire many time over if i could invent and market a non-intrusive way to take a hound's temperature. The vets agree unanimously! There HAS to be a better way. Our neighbour said one of theirs has to be sedated prior - fookin madness.
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A missed opportunity Quentin. Someone has already invented it. Infrared thermometers that go in the ear are commonplace now, in both human and veterinary medicine. The medical profession loves unintelligible names for things, so they call it an infrared auricular thermometer. If your vet doesn't have one I'd be asking them why.
They're available on Amazon for $40 so you could afford to buy your own and use it regularly so the dog gets used to it. https://www.amazon.com.au/MINDPET-M...sion-Dedicated-Measurement/dp/B0CT1G2LV8?th=1

They can be used on any kind of livestock that has an accessible ear canal.

They just stick it in the ear, press a button and it's done. It only takes about 1 second. Unlike a traditional thermometer, the instrument itself doesn't have to come up to body temp, which makes it a whole lot quicker than shoving a probe up the animal's arse and waiting for it to warm up.

Evidently Charlie doesn't like being anally penetrated. I can't say I blame him. But most dogs enjoy having their ears gently rubbed or massaged. A vet could poke an IR thermometer in during a bit of friendly ear ruffling and the dog wouldn't even know he's just had his temperature taken.
 
Makes perfect sense. I think I asked about something like that but from memory they had some reason not to use them. And the vet hospital we were at has some serious medical equipment to play with. Hard to believe they wouldn't be avoiding all the grief if it was that simple - and cheap!

They even have those long distance heat sensing gadgets at airports - used during covid.
 
Rectal thermometry is the preferred method for vets because it's more accurate than the infrared ear thermometer. But I reckon the choice of method should consider how accurate a reading you want, against how much psychological damage it could do to a patient that has a phobia of anal probing.

Unlike humans who have a straight ear canal, dogs and cats have L-shaped ear canals that can make it difficult for the gadget to get a reading directly from the eardrum. But taking the temp of surrounding tissue can be good enough for quick diagnostic screening, and that's often all that's needed during an initial examination. Vets are aware that an IR thermometer will give a reading in dogs 0.5°C to 1.5°C less than an anal thermometer, so they can take that into account.

I'd suggest you ask the vet to use the IR thermometer in future for Charlie. That's a perfectly reasonable request given how traumatising the anal thermometer is for him. Going up the bum is still available as a backup (pun not intended) if the IR reading is inconclusive. In fact, it would be worth raising the issue when you make the vet appointment, just to ensure that the vet has an IR unit available when you get there.
 
The Meaning Behind Different Types of Sh1t 💩
What about: "Holy Shit" or "What the Shit is This".
I catch myself saying "POOP" often ;o)
 
Haggis said:
View attachment 108387
I've just changed a Renault cambelt in the middle of a field. Could have done with some of these feckers to relieve frustrations caused by French engineering 😃
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I used to work with a serial tool thrower ( Snap-on Flight 847 now leaving stall 5, get ready to duck) and watched him throw a rubber hammer to the floor as hard as he could. It glanced off the floor, hit the adjacent wall, came back, and smacked him square in the forehead! The next day, a hockey mask appeared on top of his toolbox; he spent the day trying to find out who left it there.
 
Never been a tool thrower, cost too much. I did however have the right hump with a shit old battery charger that was on wheels like a grannies shopping trolley. My old boss replaced the ever blowing fuse with a bolt (???) and it had two wheels and only one leg at the front so it would topple over at the most inopportune moment..The last time this happened a mechanic was trying to jump start a poorly old dog, cranking it over whilst the charger gently smoked then falling on its face disconnecting the sparking clips! I threw that thing and exploded like a crashed plane. Bit like John Bellushi in Animal house with the guitar.
 
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