I have a new bloke at work, .......
Hi Chris, one does not exclude the other.
Yes, I try to be fair and friendly to people, animals and nature. I also have a lot of patience.
But if that is not enough, or the "opponent" is unfair, threatens danger, or a goal for everyone can be achieved, I can suddenly switch to another mode - at least as fast as a snake

.
In this mode, I'm tough, I don't compromise, I resort to the "aircraft carrier" and other extreme means, and - beleave me - I'm anything but friendly.
In the past 35 years as a crisis manager I have really experienced a lot of extreme situations and have had to bear a lot of responsibility for many employees and a lot of money.
Yes, you can combine both - fair/humane and consistent/radical, if there is no other way and if it is necessary.
I have come a long way in business and private with the fair and authentic approach. I don't want to change a good running system.
By the way:
In my job I have often seen that seemingly inconspicuous or supposedly uneducated people employees had ingenious skills, that were just not visible at first glance. Or people were supposed "problems" or "cross drivers". In reality, these were very competent employees, who were only frustrated because the necessary improvements did not work.
"Nothing is what it seems at first sight."
As a boss, manager, colleague or even as a parent, it is the job to discover, where an unpolished diamond is hidden and to grind/refine and develop it.
Thomas aus LAU