This week's joke
- Thread starter Rufustbear
- Start date
Laverda Bomber
Hero member
I pointed to two old drunks across the bar from us and told my mate,
"That'll be us in ten years.
He said, "That's a mirror, you dickhead. "
"That'll be us in ten years.
He said, "That's a mirror, you dickhead. "
chrisk
Hero member
- Location
- Brisbane, Australia
An Ex-Lawyer, a Lesbian, a Pathological Liar, a Fraudster, and a Communist walk into a BAR.
Bartender asks....
"What'll it be, Ms. Gillard?"
Bartender asks....
"What'll it be, Ms. Gillard?"
D
Davo
Guest
chrisk said:
Must have slipped in on the back of the Teflon Kid (John Howard) cos nothing ever stuck to him.
G
Grant
Guest
Tim decided to tie the knot with his long time girlfriend.
One evening, after the honeymoon, he was cleaning his golf clubs for his Saturday game.
His wife was standing at the bench watching him. After a long period of silence she finally speaks.
Honey, I've been thinking, now that we are married I think it's time you quit playing so much golf.
Maybe you should sell your clubs and cancel your membership at the golf club.
Tim gets this horrified look on his face.
She says, "Darling, what's wrong?"
?There for a minute you were sounding like my ex-wife.?
"Ex wife!", she screams, "I didn't know you were married before!"
?I wasn't ?
One evening, after the honeymoon, he was cleaning his golf clubs for his Saturday game.
His wife was standing at the bench watching him. After a long period of silence she finally speaks.
Honey, I've been thinking, now that we are married I think it's time you quit playing so much golf.
Maybe you should sell your clubs and cancel your membership at the golf club.
Tim gets this horrified look on his face.
She says, "Darling, what's wrong?"
?There for a minute you were sounding like my ex-wife.?
"Ex wife!", she screams, "I didn't know you were married before!"
?I wasn't ?
D
Davo
Guest
Exactly how the rot sets in, and is explained by the difference in marital expectations between male and female.
Men get married to the woman they love and hope she never changes whereas women marry a man they love with the vision of changing him to their ideal husband. Neither side wins.
Men get married to the woman they love and hope she never changes whereas women marry a man they love with the vision of changing him to their ideal husband. Neither side wins.
Cosi
Hero member
- Location
- Kingscliff
Davo said:
Davo Davo Davo, you in the wrong section buddy, this belongs in technical help
D
Davo
Guest
drikko said:Davo, are you carrying some baggage????
Not me matey, I've got a beauty. Supports all my foibles and even washed them for me when I had 2 broken legs
2volts
Senior member
- Location
- Perth, Western Australia
I didn't like the weather where I lived, so I moved elsewhere, where it's always fine.
chrisk
Hero member
- Location
- Brisbane, Australia
Cosi said:Davo said:
Davo Davo Davo, you in the wrong section buddy, this belongs in technical help
Or in: Handy hints section.
Davo, been thinking about the medical grade superglue posts overnight; If I were to dab a few drops on the Mrs' 'nasty' while sleeping (
she wouldn't let me near her with that stuff if she was awake), would it be possible to return her to pre-children condition? :-\
Kiwi Laverda
Hero member
- Location
- The wobbly bit of New Zealand
Thinking of combining the bike and yachting.......................
Accident crash - Fall from bike to the yacht
Accident crash - Fall from bike to the yacht
D
Davo
Guest
chrisk said:Cosi said:Davo said:
Davo Davo Davo, you in the wrong section buddy, this belongs in technical help
Or in: Handy hints section.
Davo, been thinking about the medical grade superglue posts overnight; If I were to dab a few drops on the Mrs' 'nasty' while sleeping (
Calling your favourite bit of your wife "nasty" could be where you are going wrong, relationship wise :
:.
chrisk
Hero member
- Location
- Brisbane, Australia
Davo said:chrisk said:Cosi said:Davo said:
Davo Davo Davo, you in the wrong section buddy, this belongs in technical help
Or in: Handy hints section.
Davo, been thinking about the medical grade superglue posts overnight; If I were to dab a few drops on the Mrs' 'nasty' while sleeping (
Calling your favourite bit of your wife "nasty" could be where you are going wrong, relationship wise :
I was goint to use another term, but thought better of it.
AndyW
Hero member
drikko said:The next person who posts the bike falling into the boat video will get shot at dawn!!!!!!
Not really a joke as it's probably got a sad story behind it, but it's a cheap house in the right street
Aye.. never too funny when gravity gets the better of you, eh Drikko?
AndyW said:drikko said:The next person who posts the bike falling into the boat video will get shot at dawn!!!!!!
Not really a joke as it's probably got a sad story behind it, but it's a cheap house in the right street
Aye.. never too funny when gravity gets the better of you, eh Drikko?
Linky fixed
chrisk
Hero member
- Location
- Brisbane, Australia
At least when you were pissed you'd know where you lived, that big red water tower in the back yard could be seen for miles and miles!