This weeks joke

Gerald said:
I keep hearing 'emission free vehicles' in Germany. Did I miss something, or does brake dust and rubber abrasion not exist in EV vehicles?
After watching a documentary on TV about silicon mining in the Atacama desert and planned silicon mining in Spain for EV batteries, I don't see any EV vehicle being eco friendly....
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Seems building new mega factories is also entirely emissions-free.

Seems the carbon footprint of a EV during production would allow an old stinkin' diesel to soldier on for another 5-10 years before surpassing it. But that's not taking account of the poor auto manufacturers out there... :rolleyes:

Sustainability is not only about sourcing energy, it's also about using existing resources to a maximum, ie, not throwing away vehicles and appliances after only a short use-cycle. But that's not taking account of human ego/vanity out there...:rolleyes:

Riding and wearing out old Laverdas (or any old vehicle for that matter) is peak eco-friendlyness!;)

piet
 
Andy said:
And man who pumps septics says “I wish I’d paid attention at school”
😉
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Where I used to work we had a guy that would come by regularly to clear the shop drains/sump. Old beat looking truck, older beat looking guy, one man operation. Talking to our general manager I said something similar and he burst out laughing! He told me "That man owns a 3 million dollar horse farm, bought and paid for by sucking shit"
 
Many years ago I was working in the Burdekin and when the annual show rolled around I used to help out the show association.
On this occasion after a very big day with record crowds about 8 o'clock at night we had to close one block of toilets because of the full septic.
I rang the local plumber who attended to these matters and he came around promptly in his tanker and connected up his hoses and commenced retrieval. This bloke was a plumber but also had a scrap yard full of all sorts of stuff and was a real step toe type bloke. He wore dirty old shorts & t shirt and a terry towelling hat always on his head (can't remember his name so we'll call him Bob).
Anyway after he told me all was going well he disappeared for a while to wander the showgrounds.
Eventually we really needed to get that block open again so thought we should try and find him to see how much longer.
A couple of us were standing outside the office building when we see Bob wander around the toilet block toward us.
As he was approaching in the gloom we could see he had his arms up and brown stuff was running down towards his elbows. We were a bit shocked (and a bit of gagging!), thinking he'd had some trouble with his hoses!
When he got closer we realised he had a meat pie in both hands, merrily chomping away while the gravy dribbled down his arms, (although we weren't convinced it was all gravy:cry:)
He thought it was the greatest joke and had a good laugh, clearly one of his favourite party tricks.
 
I’m no stranger to dealing with a bit of shit. A few years ago I was at a party and met an old mate who had his own sucker truck and contracted out. At the time I was contracting fixing septic pumping stations. We had a good laugh about our jobs and the amount we could charge to “make it go away”. Then he said “watch this” and started introducing himself around, along with what he did for a living. Nobody shook his hand. “Christ! You fuckers must think I scoop it out by hand!”
We offended a few people that night 🤣
 
wdietz186 said:
Where I used to work we had a guy that would come by regularly to clear the shop drains/sump. Old beat looking truck, older beat looking guy, one man operation. Talking to our general manager I said something similar and he burst out laughing! He told me "That man owns a 3 million dollar horse farm, bought and paid for by sucking shit"
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A lot of rich people deal in shit.
Paul
 
I was once asked to look at and fix a leak on a cast iron pipe in the palace of Westminster (house of commons) it was a sloping pipe on a stairwell and may have given trouble for 5 years or more as the leak was emminating from a BSP plug that had been tightened into a cut thread in the side of the pipe. BSP is British standard pipe thread, that is usually a tapered male/female joint, the sealing material between the threads is cruhed as the taper closes up, now, cast iron pipe is not very ductile and so a tapered plug is not a good idea, too much pressure and the pipe splits longtitudinally and was the case here, I returned a day or two later and froze the pipe either side of the plug (8" diameter) many gallons of liquid nitrogen were needed for this operation, but draining water from the entire system could have taken days to achieve and even longer to fill agan, mainly due to access to locked offices limited by security, the plug was removed, the pipe polished, a Siddle clamp was installed that is about three feet long and is basically a rubber wrap with a stainless sheet cover and bolted along one side, freeze removed using oxy acetylene and Bob's your uncle, I charged a VERY large amount of money for this repair, since during the course of survey and doing the job, I learned that 8 (eight) prevous contractors had all shown up to investigate, only to fail to quote or even show up again, I was not prepared to price this job, knowing as I do what might be involved both work wise and personel wise, It was a shit job, involving a Liquid nitrogen tanker on red route outside (Westminster remember), five blokes, much carrying of kit down staircases, mega clean up of rusty and black heating water from a white painted stairwell with grey steps edged in yellow and general dealing with pathetic know nothing MOD and PSA officials all doubting your ability when their own is non existant. It was clear to me that they were desperate to find some one that could fix it, Me and (more importantly) my gang of men did so, PSA paid up (heavilly) after four months, I was on the point of taking gov.uk to court, which I would have done if another month had passed. If you know what your doing and no one else does or they cant be arsed, charge the bastards!
CLEM
 
CLEMTOG said:
I was once asked to look at and fix a leak on a cast iron pipe in the palace of Westminster (house of commons) it was a sloping pipe on a stairwell and may have given trouble for 5 years or more as the leak was emminating from a BSP plug that had been tightened into a cut thread in the side of the pipe. BSP is British standard pipe thread, that is usually a tapered male/female joint, the sealing material between the threads is cruhed as the taper closes up, now, cast iron pipe is not very ductile and so a tapered plug is not a good idea, too much pressure and the pipe splits longtitudinally and was the case here, I returned a day or two later and froze the pipe either side of the plug (8" diameter) many gallons of liquid nitrogen were needed for this operation, but draining water from the entire system could have taken days to achieve and even longer to fill agan, mainly due to access to locked offices limited by security, the plug was removed, the pipe polished, a Siddle clamp was installed that is about three feet long and is basically a rubber wrap with a stainless sheet cover and bolted along one side, freeze removed using oxy acetylene and Bob's your uncle, I charged a VERY large amount of money for this repair, since during the course of survey and doing the job, I learned that 8 (eight) prevous contractors had all shown up to investigate, only to fail to quote or even show up again, I was not prepared to price this job, knowing as I do what might be involved both work wise and personel wise, It was a shit job, involving a Liquid nitrogen tanker on red route outside (Westminster remember), five blokes, much carrying of kit down staircases, mega clean up of rusty and black heating water from a white painted stairwell with grey steps edged in yellow and general dealing with pathetic know nothing MOD and PSA officials all doubting your ability when their own is non existant. It was clear to me that they were desperate to find some one that could fix it, Me and (more importantly) my gang of men did so, PSA paid up (heavilly) after four months, I was on the point of taking gov.uk to court, which I would have done if another month had passed. If you know what your doing and no one else does or they cant be arsed, charge the bastards!
CLEM
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Now we know where the tax payers' money goes!
Paul
 
CLEMTOG said:
I was once asked to look at and fix a leak on a cast iron pipe in the palace of Westminster (house of commons) it was a sloping pipe on a stairwell and may have given trouble for 5 years or more as the leak was emminating from a BSP plug that had been tightened into a cut thread in the side of the pipe. BSP is British standard pipe thread, that is usually a tapered male/female joint, the sealing material between the threads is cruhed as the taper closes up, now, cast iron pipe is not very ductile and so a tapered plug is not a good idea, too much pressure and the pipe splits longtitudinally and was the case here, I returned a day or two later and froze the pipe either side of the plug (8" diameter) many gallons of liquid nitrogen were needed for this operation, but draining water from the entire system could have taken days to achieve and even longer to fill agan, mainly due to access to locked offices limited by security, the plug was removed, the pipe polished, a Siddle clamp was installed that is about three feet long and is basically a rubber wrap with a stainless sheet cover and bolted along one side, freeze removed using oxy acetylene and Bob's your uncle, I charged a VERY large amount of money for this repair, since during the course of survey and doing the job, I learned that 8 (eight) prevous contractors had all shown up to investigate, only to fail to quote or even show up again, I was not prepared to price this job, knowing as I do what might be involved both work wise and personel wise, It was a shit job, involving a Liquid nitrogen tanker on red route outside (Westminster remember), five blokes, much carrying of kit down staircases, mega clean up of rusty and black heating water from a white painted stairwell with grey steps edged in yellow and general dealing with pathetic know nothing MOD and PSA officials all doubting your ability when their own is non existant. It was clear to me that they were desperate to find some one that could fix it, Me and (more importantly) my gang of men did so, PSA paid up (heavilly) after four months, I was on the point of taking gov.uk to court, which I would have done if another month had passed. If you know what your doing and no one else does or they cant be arsed, charge the bastards!
CLEM
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Great story Clem, amazing methodology, were you concerned with the potential to split the pipe by freezing the contents?
 
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