This weeks joke

[Shajota]

I get sick of people using catch phases, such as “reaching out to you” and “organic”

Some chick reckons my website is shit and offered to fix it up, according to the text she sent me.

I did the fuck off response, by not responding. Then came another text, to which I replied:

View attachment 98458

What's that, a chick trying to contact you about growing your organ!! At the end of the day it may have been worth reaching out to her, I'm sure it was within her core competency and she could take you on a journey or at least a deep dive on all your troubles............................
Nothing wrong with a good organ handler.

 

[Alzero]

Read the inscription around the edge:

 

[general_piffle]

I get sick of people using catch phases, such as “reaching out to you” and “organic”

Some chick reckons my website is shit and offered to fix it up, according to the text she sent me.

I did the fuck off response, by not responding. Then came another text, to which I replied:

View attachment 98458

You should try responding with corporate BS infused with smut in a seemingly innocent way. For example:

“Thank you for reaching around. Once all my dicks are in a row I’ll be sure to circle back.”

 

[rocketonarail]

 

[Exmoor beast]

I don’t think I’ll be partaking in Elton Johns “ I’m still standing Marmite” somehow - how unsavoury? Instead of Love it or hate it they should use “ Don’t knock it till you try it!”

 

[CLEMTOG]

thinking out of the box
touch base
blue sky thinking
swing by
run past me

 

[rocketonarail]

thinking out of the box
touch base
blue sky thinking
swing by
run past me

Are we on the same page
If I throw this can you run with it
Pushing the envelope
Taking it to the next level

I`ll try to think of a few more in a minute .......... ( that isn`t one , by the way ) ...........

 

[motoddrob]

Just reaching out

 

[Alzero]

Let’s run it up the flagpole and see who salutes

 

[Andy]

Thank you SO much

 

[Perry]

Starting a sentence with 'So'.

 

[Dellortoman]

I'm SO over it.
One phrase overused by politicians in Australia is "going forward" which is just a dumb way of saying in the future.

 

[seagreen]

Dear me, I have been absent from this Forum for a few months but did not expect to find it so full of curmudgeonly comments - loosen up men, we only have one life so try to enjoy it?

 

[Exmoor beast]

Starting a sentence with 'So'.

Moving forward….

Gold plated solution ( someone else’s idea that sounds good)
That’s a conversation for another time ( I have no idea what your talking about)
Let’s put it out there ( it’s my idea if it works but yours if it doesn’t)
Let’s leave it there ( it’s lunch time and I’ve lost interest)
Issues ( fuck off greatproblems)
I have issues with that ( I’m a millennial crybaby)

 

[chrisk]

To be clear

To be clear, you’re a fucken prick

‘You’re a fucken prick’ is making the statement very clear.

 

[ianpm77]

That's Amazing !!!!

 

[Paul Marx]

I'm SO over it.
One phrase overused by politicians in Australia is "going forward" which is just a dumb way of saying in the future.

Not at all. It means that the future is better thanks to them, because the future can also be going backwards.
Paul

 

[Perry]

Dear me, I have been absent from this Forum for a few months but did not expect to find it so full of curmudgeonly comments - loosen up men, we only have one life so try to enjoy it?

"Loosen up men"
" And women"
" Yes and woman , thank you brother ".

 

[rocketonarail]

Used to work with a guy ( called Ross ) who`s sister was about to get married ....... The name of his future brother - in -law was Geoff , but Ross always referred to him as Frank .......

I asked Ross why this was , and he replied ....... " The first time we met , he said to me ...... " Ross , I`m going to be frank ............. " ..........

 

[rocketonarail]

No one speaks ill of the dead ..... so here`s some obituary speak ............


He was the life and soul of the party ............. True meaning : He`s someone you`d cross the room to avoid .......

He was a gifted raconteur ............. True meaning : He was a crushing bore ..........

He didn`t suffer fools gladly ............. True meaning : He was a pig headed , arrogant twat .........