This weeks joke

John Wayne was in a film where he played the part of a Roman Centurion looking up at Christ on the cross .........

His line was ... " Truly that is the son of God " as he gazed upwards .........

The director says " Yes that`s fine John , but remember this is Jesus Christ you`re looking at ......... Can you put a bit more awe into it ? " .........

So for the next take , John goes ...... " Awwwwww .... Truly that is the son of God ....... " ..............
 
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My mate was in a horrible car accident, the interior mirror shaved all the flesh off his forehead and the fire in the car left 99% of his skin burnt.

In the operating theatre, the surgeons decided to remove his unburnt genitalia and graft it to his forehead

He wore a big hat so it concealed the genitalia, so he wasn’t embarrassed in public.

At the doctors check up the doctor asked if he was suffering any discomfort from the graft.

“Nah, doc, everything is pretty fucken good eh …. oh, one thing, on a hot day I can’t see probably”

Doctor: What do you mean?

“Doc, on a hot day I can’t see for nuts”
 
What one says in operating theatres
" What's the difference between God and a surgeon? Well, God doesn't think that he's a surgeon".

Those who have been in prolonged close contact with surgeons will understand.

Paul
 
I have had many long a very close personal contacts with surgeons these last few years, the trouble is I was under genral anaesthetic most of that time. The last one left a kneecap tendon on the surface (externaly) of my skin
CLEM
 
Andy said:
Bloody ducks…
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On ABC radio today there was a news story where a greenie type woman was charged with trespassing when she broke into a pig farm and installed a hidden camera, expecting to prove pig cruelty.

The charges were dropped and the pig farm worker is now charged with beastiallity. 🤣

‘CCTV cameras installed by the activists also captured vision of a man allegedly performing a sexual act against a pig at the facility.

7.30 can reveal on Tuesday March 3 police charged 30-year-old Carag Carag man Bradley O'Reilly with bestiality after the activists reported the alleged act to police.

Mr O'Reilly will appear in court in June.

In a statement, a spokesman for Midland Bacon said it was "unable to comment on the police charge as this matter was now before the courts".’

Bradley was just maken bacon!
 
chrisk said:
On ABC radio today there was a news story where a greenie type woman was charged with trespassing when she broke into a pig farm and installed a hidden camera, expecting to prove pig cruelty.

The charges were dropped and the pig farm worker is now charged with beastiallity. 🤣

‘CCTV cameras installed by the activists also captured vision of a man allegedly performing a sexual act against a pig at the facility.

7.30 can reveal on Tuesday March 3 police charged 30-year-old Carag Carag man Bradley O'Reilly with bestiality after the activists reported the alleged act to police.

Mr O'Reilly will appear in court in June.

In a statement, a spokesman for Midland Bacon said it was "unable to comment on the police charge as this matter was now before the courts".’

Bradley was just maken bacon!
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Ya f**k one pig..............
 
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