This weeks joke

MAJOR MOTOR MERGER

Renault and Ford have joined forces to create the perfect small car for women.
Mixing the Renault 'Clio' and the Ford 'Taurus' they have designed the 'Clitaurus'.
It comes in pink, and the average male car thief won't be able to find it, let alone turn it on - even if someone tells him where it is and how to do it.
Rumour has it though, it can be a real bitch to start in the morning!
Some have reported that on cold winter mornings, when you really need it, you can't get it to turn over.
New models are initially fun to own, but very costly to maintain, and horribly expensive to get rid of.
Used models may initially appear to have curb appeal and a low price, but eventually have an increased appetite for fuel, & the curb weight typically increases with age.
Manufacturers are baffled as to how the size of the boot increases, but say that the paint may just make it LOOK bigger.
This model is not expected to reach collector status.
Most owners find it is best to lease one, and replace it when it becomes troublesome!
 
Exmoor beast said:
Fred West was interviewed by Police “ How many did you kill Fred?”
”5” says Fred
”How come we’ve dug up 7 bodies?”
” I’m a builder- that was just an estimate!”
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Made me smile, but a bit close to home that case as one of my elder sister’s best friends was a victim of the twisted bastard and his wife.
 
Andy J said:
Made me smile, but a bit close to home that case as one of my elder sister’s best friends was a victim of the twisted bastard and his wife.
Click to expand...
Ouch, don’t know who he was, but I hope her family doesn’t read that joke.


I once went out for a while with a chef.

She made a soup for a dinner with us, her brother and his very new girlfriend.

She asked if she should tell them it was made from crocodile meat. I said no.

First coarse finished, she announced it wasn’t chicken but croc meat.

New girlfriend near vomited on the spot, and in an hysteric rant, told us her brother had been taken (dead dead) by a croc a few months earlier.

Who’d have known
 
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