For Drikko
CHRISTMAS COMPLIANCE
Safe and Ethical (formerly Merry) Christmas
All employees planning to dash through the snow in a one horse open sleigh, going over the fields and laughing all the way are advised that a Risk Assessment will be required addressing the safety of an open sleigh for members of the public under Workplace Health and Safety Regulations. This assessment must also consider whether it is appropriate to use only one horse for such a venture, particularly where there are multiple passengers. Please note that permission must also be obtained in writing from landowners before their fields may be entered. To avoid offending those not participating in celebrations, we would request that laughter is moderate only and not loud enough to be considered a noise nuisance under the Protection of the Environment Operations Act.
Benches, stools and orthopaedic chairs are now available for collection by any shepherds planning or required to watch their flocks at night. While provision has also been made for remote monitoring of flocks by CCTV cameras from a centrally heated shepherd observation hut, all users of this facility are reminded that an emergency response plan must be submitted to account for known risks to the flocks. The Angel of the Lord is additionally reminded that, prior to shining his/her glory all around, s/he must confirm that all shepherds are wearing appropriate Personal Protective Equipment to account for the harmful effects of UVA, UVB and the overwhelming effects of Glory.
Following last year?s well publicised case, everyone is advised that Equal Opportunities legislation prohibits any comment with regard to the redness of any part of Mr. R Reindeer. Further to this, exclusion of Mr R Reindeer from reindeer games will be considered discriminatory and disciplinary action will be taken against those found guilty of this offence under EEO legislation.
While it is acknowledged that gift bearing is a common practice in various parts of the world, particularly the Orient, everyone is reminded that the bearing of gifts is subject to the Gifts, Hospitality and Sponsorship Policy Guidelines and all gifts must be registered. This applies regardless of the individual, even royal personages. The origins of all gifts should also be considered in case the donor should be notified to your manager as a Conflict of Interest. Also all organic gifts from overseas should be irradiated at the nearest government quarantine laboratory prior to their disbursement, especially to young children.
It is particularly noted that direct gifts of currency or gold are specifically precluded as per the Gifts, Hospitality and Sponsorship Policy, while caution is advised regarding other common gifts such as aromatic resins that may evoke allergic reactions.
Finally, in the recent case of the infant found tucked up in a manger without any crib for a bed, DOCS has been advised and will be arriving shortly to consider the issue of child neglect .
By stringently complying with the above it is hoped that all staff will have a Safe Christmas. This is a new workplace category to replace the old category of Merry, as it has been determined that the concepts of Merriment and Happiness are a matter of individual choice and perception and these cannot be determined by Management. The use of the word Merry will therefore cease forthwith and be deleted from all correspondence. Those staff unable to handle the concepts of Merriment and Happiness without managerial guidance are advised to seek the assistance of the Counsellor available through the Employee Assistance Program (the first 6 sessions are free).
