chrisk
Hero member
- Location
- Brisbane, Australia
Good grief. I so want a 5? poster of that.
This weeks joke
- Thread starter chrisk
- Start date
Good grief. I so want a 5? poster of that.
Dellortoman
Hero member
- Location
- Tasmania, Australia
Scooter wouldn't handle very well. Centre of gravity is too high.
L
Legs
Guest
Voted BEST JOKE IN IRELAND
John O'Reilly hoisted his beer and said, "Here's to spending the rest of
me life, between the legs of me wife !"
That won him the top prize at the pub for the best toast of the night!
He went home and told his wife, Mary, "I won the prize for the best
toast of the night."
She said,
"Aye, did ye now. And what was your toast?"
John said, "Here's to spending the rest of me life, sitting in church
Beside me wife."
"Oh, that is very nice indeed, John!" Mary said.
The next day, Mary ran into one of John's drinking buddies on the street
corner. The man chuckled leeringly and said, "John won the prize the
other night at the pub with a toast about you, Mary."
She said,
"Aye, he told me, and I was a bit surprised myself. You know,
he's only been in there twice in the last four years. "Once I had to pull him
by the ears to make him come, and the other time he fell asleep".
John O'Reilly hoisted his beer and said, "Here's to spending the rest of
me life, between the legs of me wife !"
That won him the top prize at the pub for the best toast of the night!
He went home and told his wife, Mary, "I won the prize for the best
toast of the night."
She said,
"Aye, did ye now. And what was your toast?"
John said, "Here's to spending the rest of me life, sitting in church
Beside me wife."
"Oh, that is very nice indeed, John!" Mary said.
The next day, Mary ran into one of John's drinking buddies on the street
corner. The man chuckled leeringly and said, "John won the prize the
other night at the pub with a toast about you, Mary."
She said,
"Aye, he told me, and I was a bit surprised myself. You know,
he's only been in there twice in the last four years. "Once I had to pull him
by the ears to make him come, and the other time he fell asleep".
AndyW
Hero member
BIOLOGY EXAM:
This is straight from Scotland. Students in an advanced Biology class were taking their mid-term exam. The last question was, 'Name seven advantages of Mother's Milk'.
The question was worth 70 points or none at all. One student, in particular, was hard put to think of seven advantages, however, he wrote:-
1) It is perfect formula for the child.
2) It provides immunity against several diseases.
3) It is always the right temperature.
4) It is inexpensive.
5) It bonds the child to mother, and vice versa.
6) It is always available as needed.
And then the student was stuck.
Finally, in desperation, just before the bell rang indicating the end of the test, he wrote:
7) It comes in two attractive containers and it's high enough off the ground where the cat can't get it.
He got an A+.
This is straight from Scotland. Students in an advanced Biology class were taking their mid-term exam. The last question was, 'Name seven advantages of Mother's Milk'.
The question was worth 70 points or none at all. One student, in particular, was hard put to think of seven advantages, however, he wrote:-
1) It is perfect formula for the child.
2) It provides immunity against several diseases.
3) It is always the right temperature.
4) It is inexpensive.
5) It bonds the child to mother, and vice versa.
6) It is always available as needed.
And then the student was stuck.
Finally, in desperation, just before the bell rang indicating the end of the test, he wrote:
7) It comes in two attractive containers and it's high enough off the ground where the cat can't get it.
He got an A+.
D
Davo
Guest
motoddrob
Hero member
- Location
- S/W Australia
sweetas said::
How true that is after tonights results!
L
Legs
Guest
Oh well, the old hip pocket wins out 
chrisk
Hero member
- Location
- Brisbane, Australia
Legs said:Oh well, the old hip pocket wins out
Refer: Reply 606. Same rule applies to whoever would have got in.
For those non Australians, we had our National Political Election yesterday. :
piranha-bro2
Hero member
- Location
- Melbourne
Hahaaa! Love it. Don?t worry. Boris is gonna get the top job and he?ll sort it all our quick smart. He?ll make the UK GREAT again! 
Simon Yates
Senior member
Trump and Trump junior in the great US / UK alliance.
Time to consider ones future.
Time to consider ones future.
padlock
Hero member
- Location
- bedford Uk
Can?t wait for Bojo to be prime minister. Everything is fucked anyway so make as well have a good laugh will the country sinks.
FFFANARCHY
FFFANARCHY
D
Davo
Guest
CLEMTOG said:
I call that BS. The man is all nonsense and always has been. Just look at the amount of total bullshit he comes out with, going back to his days as a journalist and his reporting on fake EU regulations.