This weeks joke

Coronavirus self isolation!
Lady on the TV just now belly aching that she hasn't seen her identical twin for a week due to self-isolation. Why doesn't she just look in the mirror?
 
Todays joke is Queensland Australia.
The state is in lockdown and we are told to stay home, avoid crowds and not travel unless it is essential.
BUT
Today it is mandatory to go and vote for all Local Governments in the State.
3 Million Queenslanders are being told to vote or they will get a fine if they don't.

For the life of me I will never understand a politicians perspective ::)
 
81Lav said:
Todays joke is Queensland Australia.
The state is in lockdown and we are told to stay home, avoid crowds and not travel unless it is essential.
BUT
Today it is mandatory to go and vote for all Local Governments in the State.
3 Million Queenslanders are being told to vote or they will get a fine if they don't.

For the life of me I will never understand a politicians perspective ::)
Click to expand...
It does seem weird however to be fair, the polling booths have been open for about 3 weeks and I think about 2 thirds have already voted.
I voted about a week ago when hardly anyone around - perhaps they could have pushed for more staged voting?
I also don't think it's going to be any worse than the crowds being spotted waiting to get into supermarkets :o ::)
(Certainly if it was scheduled any later I'd say it would have been postponed and hopefully this may help to get for a more efficient voting process)
 
I?m with you Bruce. I?m not voting on principle.

Why would anyone want to go into a Cesspit of virus germs to vote for fuckers that dictate that you must, during lockdown.

I?ll wipe my arse with the fine and send it back to them.
 
Shajota said:
It does seem weird however to be fair, the polling booths have been open for about 3 weeks and I think about 2 thirds have already voted.
Click to expand...

And let?s not forget the candidates and parties have already paid out for the privilege to run. They wouldn?t want to shell out twice, if it was postponed. That is the real truth.
 
chrisk said:
I?m with you Bruce. I?m not voting on principle.

Why would anyone want to go into a Cesspit of virus germs to vote for fuckers that dictate that you must, during lockdown.

I?ll wipe my arse with the fine and send it back to them.
Click to expand...
I don't think they'll fine you Chris. It's all talk.
They know they wouldn't have a hope in hell of getting a fine to stand...??????..
 
We have postal voting only for council elections now. My mrs and I missed the cutoff to post even though we had the forms ready to post - very unclear info on the ballot form about when posting closed or ballot closed. I thought nothing of it. Sent the 'fine or excuse' letter and I assumed our reason would be good enough. No.

Long story short, I was incensed and chose to contest in court. Did the prelim hearing where they give you the option of pleading guilty and paying the fine+costs. I was the only one out of about 7 who chose to contest. A lawyer friend said my chances were very slim, as it's 'statutory law' ... like parking fines, you either voted on time or you didn't. Anyways, I had an argument all prepared, plus my 45 years clean record for voting.

In the end, on the advice of my friend (who wanted to save me thousands in court costs) I opted out and called the electoral office fines person and an agreement was made to reinstate the original $78 fine ($20 for failing to vote in a state or federal election!!! Work that out!). Had to OK it with the state prosecutor's office first - they weren't happy, as it was only a week out from the hearing, but in the end I breathed a sigh of relief - I had been very stressed in the leadup.

Moral to this story - take NOTICE!! - NEVER send form with the 'contest in court' ticked until you've exhausted all the correspondence required to try and get it waived. That was my big mistake. If I'd pleaded for leniency based on my perfect record I would have been let off. I got that info from the fines person.

Apart from all this, I doubt very much any electoral office will pursue failure to vote issues in the aftermath of the COVID crisis. 
 
With so much depression all round us we need a laugh 😂 sometime just read this all the way through

Husband:
My wife is missing.
She went out yesterday and has not come home...

Sergeant at Police Station:
What is her height?

Husband:
Gee, I'm not sure. A little over five-feet tall.

Sergeant:
Weight?

Husband:
Don't know. Not slim, not really fat.

Sergeant:
Colour of eyes?

Husband:
Sort of brown I think. Never really noticed.

Sergeant:
Colour of hair?

Husband:
Changes a couple times a year.
Maybe dark brown now.
I can?t remember.

Sergeant:
What was she wearing?

Husband:
Could have been pants, or maybe a skirt or shorts. I don't know exactly.

Sergeant:
What kind of car did she go in?

Husband:
She went in my Audi

Sergeant:
What kind of Audi was it?

Husband: (sobbing)
Audi A6 Avant Black Edition,
Ambient Lighting pack - A6, Front and outer rear heated seats, Valcona leather - Lunar silver + super sport seats, 3 spoke heated sports leather multifunction steering wheel with paddle shift, LED Matrix headlights with high beam assist, Pearlescent paint, Audi drive select, Audi parking system plus with front and rear sensors, Audible and visual fasten seat belt warning - front and rear, Cruise control, Driver's information system, MMI SD card Navigation, Mobile telephone preparation, PAS, Service interval indicator, 3 point seatbelts on all seats, ABS-EBD, ASR traction control, Curtain airbags, Driver and passenger airbags, Driver-front passenger side airbags, Electromechanical parking brake, Electronic stability control, Front passenger airbag deactivation, Hill hold assist, Tyre pressure monitoring system, Warning triangle and first aid kit, Anti theft alarm, Anti-theft wheel bolts, Immobiliser, Keyless Start, Remote central locking, Audi music interface, Auxiliary input socket, DAB digital radio module, MMI Radio plus with CD player and bluetooth interface, SD card slot, USB connection, 12V power in rear centre console, 4 way electric lumbar support, 4 zone climate control, Aluminium door sill trims, Black cloth headlining, Double cargo floor, Electric front seats + driver memory, Front centre armrest, Front head restraints, Front-rear floor mats, Height adjustable front seats, Isofix front passenger and rear seat preparation, Jack and tool kit, Load lashing points, Luggage compartment cover, Luggage rails, Perforated leather gearknob, Rear headrests, Split folding rear seat, Auto dimming rear view mirror, Automatic headlights + automatic windscreen wipers, Body coloured bumpers, Body coloured door mirrors and handles, Body coloured roof spoiler, Door sill trims with S line logo, Electric front-rear windows, Headlight washers, High gloss black door mirrors, High gloss black finish B pillar, High gloss black triangular aperture at rear door, LED daytime running lights, LED rear lights, Light sensor, Platinum grey front lip spoiler, Privacy glass (to rear of B post), Rain sensor, Rear wiper, Alcantara door trim, Piano black finish inlay, Space saver spare wheel, Black Styling pack - A6 Avant, Non smoking pack - A6, Diesel particulate filter

(At this point, the sobbing has turned into a full cry.)

Sergeant:
Don't worry buddy. We'll find your Audi

Stay safe 😷
 
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    An Englishman, Scotsman, and a Welshman, were due to be shot in Iraq, the squad leader asked the Welshman if
    he had a last request, he said yes he'd like to hear a thousand Welshmen singing 'land of my father's' he then asked
    the Scotsman if he had a last request, he said, yes I'd like to hear a thousand Scotsmen singing 'flower of Scotland'
    he came to the Englishman and asked the same question, the Englishman said yes, shoot me first
 
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