This weeks joke

"Did you have a good holiday"?
"Nah, the place was Shitsville Tennessee"

Just wondering... Is 'Shitsville Tennessee' just a phrase used in the Midlands UK, or do others use it?
 
chrisk said:
You NZ guys sure have a lot of shit going on.

You need to get some shitaki mushrooms, chicken shitzel, a bottle of Shitaz take them to Huntly and have bbq.

www.nzherald.co.nz

New Zealand's 'shittest town' revealed

Shit Towns of New Zealand has finally crowned their victor of 2019.
www.nzherald.co.nz www.nzherald.co.nz
Click to expand...
Unfortunately It seems to be a common brainwave for both artists and local amministrations. Not so far ago in one of the most beatiful italian place appeared this shitfishermerda.jpeg

What's going on? Did Someone open the pandora's box Manzu's soothsaying?

merdadasrtista.jpg

Shit happens... Even if you are not looking for it!!
 
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Time is gone and shit dried out, now it seems to be something similar to a skinny tree (through the webcam on piazza della signoria)
Never end to the worst...
 
Ok, time for some serious self analysis...............
PSYCHOPATH TEST

This question, come up with an answer and then scroll down to the bottom for the result. This is not a trick question. It is as it reads. No one I know has got it right.

A woman, while at the funeral of her own mother, met a guy whom she did not know. She thought this guy was amazing. She believed him to be her dream guy so much, that she fell in love with him right there, but never asked for his number and could not find him. A few days later she killed her sister.

Question: What is her motive for killing her sister?

[Give this some thought before you answer]









SCROLL DOWN FOR ANSWER






KEEP SCROLLING








KEEP SCROLLING








KEEP SCROLLING




















Answer: She was hoping the guy would appear at the funeral again.

If you answered this correctly, you think like a psychopath.
This was a test by a famous American psychologist used to test if one has the same mentality as a killer. Many arrested serial killers took part in the test and answered the question correctly. If you didn't answer the question correctly, good for you.
If you got the answer correct, please let me know so I can take you off my email list.
 
Shajota said:
Ok, time for some serious self analysis...............
PSYCHOPATH TEST

This question, come up with an answer and then scroll down to the bottom for the result. This is not a trick question. It is as it reads. No one I know has got it right.

A woman, while at the funeral of her own mother, met a guy whom she did not know. She thought this guy was amazing. She believed him to be her dream guy so much, that she fell in love with him right there, but never asked for his number and could not find him. A few days later she killed her sister.

Question: What is her motive for killing her sister?

[Give this some thought before you answer]









SCROLL DOWN FOR ANSWER






KEEP SCROLLING








KEEP SCROLLING








KEEP SCROLLING




















Answer: She was hoping the guy would appear at the funeral again.

If you answered this correctly, you think like a psychopath.
This was a test by a famous American psychologist used to test if one has the same mentality as a killer. Many arrested serial killers took part in the test and answered the question correctly. If you didn't answer the question correctly, good for you.
If you got the answer correct, please let me know so I can take you off my email list.
Click to expand...
lucky Im not on your mail list


have a listen to this , speaking of psychopaths, its pretty interesting the test. But who ever would have thought of knocking someone off to see the guy again


www.thisamericanlife.org

The Psychopath Test - This American Life

We heard about a test that could determine if someone was a psychopath. So, naturally, our staff decided to take it.
www.thisamericanlife.org www.thisamericanlife.org
 
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"Bless me Father, for I have sinned. I have been with a loose girl."
The priest asks, "Is that you, little Joey Pagano?"
"Yes, Father, it is."
"And who was the girl you were with?"
"I can't tell you, Father. I don't want to ruin her reputation."
"Well, Joey, I'm sure to find out her name sooner or later so you may as well tell me now. Was it Tina Minetti?"
"I cannot say."
"Was it Teresa Mazzarelli?"
"I'll never tell."
"Was it Nina Capelli?"
"I'm sorry, but I cannot name her."
"Was it Cathy Piriano?"
"My lips are sealed."
"Was it Rosa DiAngelo, then?"
"Please, Father! I cannot tell you."
The priest sighs in frustration. "You're very tight lipped, and I admire that. But you've sinned and have to atone. You cannot be an altar boy now for 4 months. Now you go and behave yourself."
Joey walks back to his pew, and his friend Franco slides over and whispers, "What'd you get?"
"Four months vacation and five good leads..."
 
GregT said:
Would that be connected to their proud boast of having the first concrete floored cowshed in NZ ?

I've never been to Eltham - but on the other hand, I've never been brave enough to stop in Mercer.....
Click to expand...
🤣🤣🤣
the best thing about Mercer didn’t even come from NZ. It was the Dutch cheese guy there. Amazing cheeses .
 
Dad and Dave were two old bushies living out on a farm up in the hills.
Dad has found out that the hole under the shithouse is full.
He goes into the house and tells Dave that he doesn’t know what to do to empty the hole.
Dave says,
“Why don’t you go ask the young’n down the road? He must be smart ’cause he’s a uni gradjyate.”
So Dad drives down to the neighbor’s house and asks him,
“Mr. Uni gradjyate, my shithouse hole is full, and I don’t know what to do to empty it.”
The young’n tells him,
“Get yourself two sticks of dynamite, one with a short fuse and one with a long fuse. Put them both under the shithouse and light them both at the same time. The first one will go off and shoot the shithouse in the air. While it’s in the air the second one will then go off and spread the crap all across your farm, fertilizing your ground. The shithouse should then come back down to the same spot atop the now-empty hole.”
Dad thanks the neighbor, then drives to the hardware store and picks up two sticks of dynamite, one with a short fuse and one with a long fuse.
He goes home and puts them under the shithouse.
He then lights them and runs behind a tree.
All of a sudden, Dave comes running out of the house and into the shithouse! Off goes the first stick of dynamite, shooting the shithouse into the air.
BOOM! Off goes the second stick of dynamite, spreading crap all over the farm.
Then, WHAM! The shithouse comes crashing back down atop the hole.
Dad races to the shithouse, throws open the door and asks,
“Dave, are you all right?”
As he pulls up his jocks he says,
“Yeah, but I’m sure glad I didn’t fart in the kitchen!”
 
Played a round of golf with a mate yesterday. Not swung a club for three years and it showed.
After I had hit another crap shot - :

"I think you are standing too close to the ball"
"Do you think so ?"
" Yeah, after you've hit it"
 
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