This weeks joke

bollocks.jpg

Poetry and prose

I ain't one for poetry, ain't one for prose
Ain't one for the scent of a springtime rose
But there is one fact that I do know
I sure get a kick out of that Beavis and Butt-head show
Other day I turn my TV on, what is it I do see?
Two crazy-ass cartoon sons-a'-bitches staring on back at me
Said, "What the hell's this", and Lar said, "Boy, don't you know?"
The whole world's gone crazy over that there Beavis and Butt-head show
Talk about couch fishing, now I could go for that
I could go for frog baseball, but I'm inclined to use a cat!
On comedy, I'm a Stooges man. I like Larry, Curly and Moe
But now and then I get a chuckle watchin' the Beavis and Butt-head show
Stone Temple Pearlvana Chains, now there's a helluva band
They got that original sound that's been sweepin' across the land
They ain't no ZZ Top though, now that's the band for me
If I had my way MTV'd play just them and AC/DC
I ain't nothing special, I'm your average kinda man
I like a frosted barley pop and I drink 'em outta the can!
I don't give a rat's ass about poetry and not a damn about prose
I sure do get a kick outta them Beavis and Butt-head shows

Butt-head: "Hey, Beavis."
Beavis: "What?"
Butt-head: "I was just like, uh, thinking and stuff... It was pretty cool."
Beavis: "Yeah, I'm gonna try that."
Butt-head: "TV is cool."
Beavis: "Yeah, yeah, TV rules. It rules! Yeah."
Butt-head: "Hey Beavis... I heard that pretty soon, they're gonna have, like, 500 channels. That's gonna be cool."
Beavis: "Really? That would be cool."
Butt-head: "You know what would be really cool, though? If like, one of the channels didn't suck."
Beavis: "Yeah, but, like, if one of them didn't suck, then why would you need the other, um, three hundred and twenty-seven?"
Butt-head: "Because, you know all those TV shows that suck? It's like, you hafta put 'em somewhere! You can't put 'em on the cool channel!"
Beavis: "Yeah, yeah! They should call it 'The Cool Channel'!"
 
Reminds me of this timeless classic.

There was a young man from Devizes
Who's balls were of two different sizes
One ball was so small it was no ball at all
But the other won several prizes.

Alfred Lord Tennyson ( 1809 - 1892 ).
 
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I saw this written on the ball of a toilet cubicle many years ago:

'Some come here to sit and think,
Others come to shit and stink
But I come here to scratch my balls
And read the writing on the walls.'

Not sure if it's prose or poetry but never seen it bettered.
 
Richard 180.S2.81 said:
I saw this written on the ball of a toilet cubicle many years ago:

'Some come here to sit and think,
Others come to shit and stink
But I come here to scratch my balls
And read the writing on the walls.'

Not sure if it's prose or poetry but never seen it bettered.
Click to expand...
Some come here to sit and think
Others come to wonder
I come here to shit and stink
And fart like fikn thunder.

Here I sit in stinking vapor
Someone stole the toilet paper
How long should I sit and linger
Before I have to use my finger.
 
Speaking of Brendan Behan, though not a joke ..

“I respect kindness in human beings first of all, and kindness to animals. I don't respect the law; I have a total irreverence for anything connected with society except that which makes the roads safer, the beer stronger, the food cheaper and the old men and old women warmer in the winter and happier in the summer.” Brendan Behan.
 
Andy said:
A bloke I work with likes to wear beach type clothes to work on “casual Fridays”. Which is fine in the office, but not when he wanders out to the workshop and warehouse without boots.

So I’ve just made him these:

View attachment 59732


View attachment 59733
Click to expand...
Now that's well done - across the ditch joke. Doesn't take much. For example, prospector Smokey Bandit, 2016, replying to a prospector's post about wearing thongs:

"Me too mate .Aussie safety boots.
big_smile
thumbsup
.Unless its mountainous then its boots but just cheapo swade non steal cap."

What boots do you wear detecting

Thought these might have been more your style AF. Home made and still warm. ;)
www.prospectingaustralia.com.au www.prospectingaustralia.com.au
 
It's interesting how the culture of humour varies between countries. My own taste in humour seems to be aligned with British and Australian comedy. There aren't many American comedians that I find funny.
Dunno about non-english speaking humour (unless it's visual). None of my foreign language skills (some French and a smattering of Italian) are fluent enough to follow the fast pace of comedy in other languages.
 
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