This weeks joke

paulincayman said:
And what about Tigger...:LOL::LOL:
Click to expand...
A toddler asked me the other day,
"Where does poo come from?"
I thought I'd try and explain properly so I said, "You just ate breakfast, yes?"
"Yes." she replied.
"Well, the food goes into our tummies and our bodies take out all the good stuff, and then whatever is left over comes out of our bums when we go to the toilet, and that is poo."
She looked a little perplexed, and stared at me in stunned silence for a few seconds and asked, "And Tigger?"
 
Ok…. I have a blond joke - on me for you… in my defence I don’t think I often do blond (at least not that I’m aware of)…..

Setting the scene: I’m designing (with help) a trailer for camping bike trips out bush, you know for fuel cans, spare parts, tents, broken bikes etc…. And I thought a winch would be helpful for pulling bikes up instead of man/woman handling them on….. I hate having to do that 😩😩😩😩

Anyway my Guzzi had a flat battery the other morning so down to the local shop I go for a trickle battery (that can go with the above mentioned trailer I’m thinking - good purchase I’m thinking).

So into the “man cave shop” I go to get the battery charger and while I’m there I see two chaps drooling over a winch, so in my perky morning voice (which I know can piss most people off in the first place) I smile and interject with …… and I quote:

…..“you guys wouldn’t happen to know if that could pull my bike onto my trailer” …..

you know when you’ve put your foot in it cos the entire shop goes that uncomfortable deadly quite…..

Crap I’m thinking to myself, I can’t unsay that….so they both draw breath,
slowly look up from the massive fxxxxking box on the floor they are drooling over
and simultaneously say…..I mean there is a fare dinkum echo….

”love that could pull your house onto your trailer if you want it to”….

Yep I guess the jokes on me……you kinda had to be there - but my dear ole builder friend (who will be in the support vehicle towing said trailer) and who drove me to the shop (cos my bike was being temperamental) shoves me, apologies to the two guys and says in that same laconic tone …, Nards, please just get in the ute..,,.



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A woman is sipping a glass of champagne at the bar when a chicken farmer sits down next to her and orders a glass of champagne also .
The woman turns to the farmer and says "what a coincidence "
" yes it is. " says the farmer and then asks "why are you drinking champagne ? ".
" I'm celebrating ."...she says..
"What a coincidence, so am I " ...says the farmer , ...".what are you celebrating?"
" My husband and I have been trying to get pregnant for the last ten years ..and now finally I am.." she replies
"Oh what a coincidence.... my chickens stopped laying for months but now they are laying again. "
" Well yes that is a coincidence "she repeats then asks ". And what did you get to get them laying again?"
Oh says the farmer... . "I just used a younger cock ."

"oh " says the woman , "that really is a coincidence!"
"
 
paulincayman said:
A woman is sipping a glass of champagne at the bar when a chicken farmer sits down next to her and orders a glass of champagne also .
The woman turns to the farmer and says "what a coincidence "
" yes it is. " says the farmer and then asks "why are you drinking champagne ? ".
" I'm celebrating ."...she says..
"What a coincidence, so am I " ...says the farmer , ...".what are you celebrating?"
" My husband and I have been trying to get pregnant for the last ten years ..and now finally I am.." she replies
"Oh what a coincidence.... my chickens stopped laying for months but now they are laying again. "
" Well yes that is a coincidence "she repeats then asks ". And what did you get to get them laying again?"
Oh says the farmer... . "I just used a younger cock ."

"oh " says the woman , "that really is a coincidence!"
"
Click to expand...
OMG I absolutely love this 😆😆😆😆
 
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