This weeks joke

Paddy had long heard the stories of an amazing family tradition...
It seems that his father, grandfather and great-grandfather had all been able to walk on water on their 18th birthday.
On that special day, they'd each walked across the lake to the pub on the far side for their first legal drink.
So when Paddy's 18th birthday came 'round, he and his pal Mick, took a boat out to the middle of the lake, Paddy, stepped out of the boat ... and nearly drowned! Mick just barely managed to pull him to safety. Furious and confused, Paddy went to see his grandmother.
"Grandma," he asked, "It's my 18th birthday, so why can't I walk 'cross the lake like my father, his father, and his father before him?"
Granny looked deeply into Paddy's, troubled brown eyes and said,
"Because you were born in August, but your father, your grandfather and your great grandfather were all born in December, when the lake is frozen, you f*****g' idiot."
 
Paddy had long heard the stories of an amazing family tradition...
It seems that his father, grandfather and great-grandfather had all been able to walk on water on their 18th birthday.
On that special day, they'd each walked across the lake to the pub on the far side for their first legal drink.
So when Paddy's 18th birthday came 'round, he and his pal Mick, took a boat out to the middle of the lake, Paddy, stepped out of the boat ... and nearly drowned! Mick just barely managed to pull him to safety. Furious and confused, Paddy went to see his grandmother.
"Grandma," he asked, "It's my 18th birthday, so why can't I walk 'cross the lake like my father, his father, and his father before him?"
Granny looked deeply into Paddy's, troubled brown eyes and said,
"Because you were born in August, but your father, your grandfather and your great grandfather were all born in December, when the lake is frozen, you f*****g' idiot."

Heard the same joke, but it was Digby turning 18 and his birthday was in December, his fathers in July…. Digby was a New Zealander 🙄
 
Back to the jokes,...

Bloke walks into the Doctor's.
"How can I help you?"
"I want to live forever, what do you advise?"
"First, get married."
"Will that help me live forever?"
"No, but it'll stop you wanting to."
 
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