This weeks joke

helicopterjim said:
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I wanted to put a DOUBLE like on this one, had to do it this way. (y) (y)
 
CLEMTOG said:
who was it who said that it is better to sit and stay silent,and thought to be a fool, than stand up and speak and let it be proven.
CLEM
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Well it wasn’t you Clem. 🤣🤣🤣

That's right Jessie, I didnt say it, I remained sitting, and was not proven a fool, unlike yourself who spoke
CLEM
 
Driver stops and picks up a hitchhiker out on a lonely Texas backroad. The hitchhiker gets in the car and as they drive away he asks the driver if he was ok picking him up, because he could be a serial killer. The driver responds that the odds of two serial killers being in the same car was astronomical!!!
 
Apparently Harry’s novel is the fastest selling piece of sour grapes since Roman times. I wonder how many people Wills and Charles have employed to go round buying them...😉
 
A woman from Los Angeles, who was a tree hugger, a liberal Democrat,
and an anti-hunter, purchased a piece of timberland near Colville, WA.
There was a large tree on one of the highest points in the tract. She
wanted a good view of the natural splendor of her land so she started
to climb the big tree. As she neared the top she encountered a spotted
owl that attacked her. In her haste to escape, the woman slid down the
tree to the ground and got many splinters in her crotch. In
considerable pain, she hurried to a local ER to see a doctor. She told
him she was an environmentalist, a democrat, and an anti-hunter and
how she came to get all the splinters.

The doctor listened to her story with great patience and then told her
to go wait in the examining room and he would see if he could help
her. She sat and waited three hours before the doctor reappeared..

The angry woman demanded, "What took you so long?" He smiled and then
told her, "Well, I had to get permits from the Environmental
Protection Agency, the Forest Service, and the Bureau of Land
Management before I could remove old-growth timber from a
"recreational area" so close to a waste treatment facility. I'm sorry,
but due to Obama-Care they turned you down.
 
A joke for the current weather in the Northern Hemisphere
People often complain about the police, but you rarely hear about the positive things they do, such as this incident involving a biker and a frozen carburetor.
This month on a bitterly cold winter's day, a North Dakota State Trooper on patrol came upon a motorcyclist who was stalled by the roadside. The biker was swathed in heavy protective clothing and wearing a full-face helmet to protect their face from the cold weather.
“What’s the matter? Asked the Trooper
"Carburetor's frozen," was the terse reply.
"Pee on it. That'll thaw it out."
"I can't," said the biker.
"OK, watch me closely and I'll show you."
The Trooper unzipped and promptly warmed the carburetor as promised.
Moments later the bike started and the rider drove off, waving.
A few days later, the local State Troopers’ office received a note of thanks from the father of the motorcyclist.
It began: "On behalf of my daughter Jill..."
 
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