This weeks joke

[Perry]

If you are attracted to both women and men
but neither of them are attracted to you
that means you are Bi-
yourself.

 

[Dellortoman]

My mate think's he's smart. He said an onion is the only food that'll make you cry, so I threw a coconut at his face.

I was dining in a restaurant when a waitress suddenly yelled "Does anyone know CPR?"
I yelled back "I can do better than that, I know the entire alphabet". Everyone laughed. Well, except for one person.

 

[Reunited Chris]

 

[The Sock]

In regard to lawyers, I once saw a truly amazing thing:
A lawyer, with his hands in his own pockets!

 

[julian]

Conscious of definitely differing senses of humour around the world Julian and of course demographics, apparently not everyone fits into the 'grumpy old bastard who rides classic motorbicycles' But I try from time to time and I guess some appeal only to some
Anyway, Little Jonny's always worth a laugh so..............

Little Johnny's father is a horse trainer and one day Little Johnny goes with him to one of the horse sales.
They are walking along looking at the horses.
Occasionally, Little Johnny's dad stops and checks out a horse, rubbing his hand up and down the horses legs, chest and rump.
Little Johnny watching, says, "Why do you do that dad?"
"I have to check the horse is sound before I buy them Johnny" his dad says,
So they keep walking and Johnny is deep in thought,
After a while he says "Dad...........is the postman going to buy mum?"

I love "little Johnny" jokes
Even to the extent that my wife and I called our daughter Little Johnny while the bun was still in the oven. Just so that we would not slip and let out the sex before the announcement.
Good joke!! Like it.

And for sure I am a grumpy old man these days as the guys at work tell me

 

[motoddrob]

With that collection of bikes, nothing to be grumpy about

 

[julian]

You are absolutely tight Rob,
I pinch myself almost every day and think how lucky I am to be in this position.
Easy to forget when surrounded every day by other peoples more expensive toys.
Lucky me.

I'm only a grumpy old man for a few minutes and the guys understand.
Luckily
J

 

[Alzero]

My dog ate a bunch of my Scrabble tiles so I left him at the vets, knowing full well his next bowel movement could spell disaster.