This weeks joke

A boxer was nearing the end of his career but was convinced he could still win a championship when he spotted a poster advertising a fight featuring Hurricane Mc Farlane and he thinks if he could fight Hurricane McFarlane it would prove he wasn`t past it after all.
So he says to his manager"You`ve got to let me fight Hurricane Mc Farlane,if I can beat him it would prove I`m not past my best like they say I am,you`ve got to let me fight Hurricane McFarlane".
His manager says "No,I don`t think that`s a very good idea".
"Why not " the boxer says,"You`ve got to give me this chance,I can prove I`m still the best,I know I can beat him,you`ve got to let me fight him"
" I don`t think I can do that" says the manager.
"Why not?" says the boxer.
" Because you ARE Hurricane Mc Farlane" says the manager.     
 
Mention of shadow boxing reminds me of a story about a Vincent owner who during long cold winter rides would stop at the side of the road and shadow box for a couple of minutes to get the circulation going again.
Another thing he did to get the circulation going again was to stop the bike and push it for 30 yards or so.
He was doing this one time when a Triumph rider pulled up alongside and said"What`s the problem mate,have you broken down?"
The Vincent guy replied"No I`m just doing this to keep warm",to which the Triumph rider muttered "Sarcastic bastard" and rode straight off again.
 
This guy was driving along in his car,going much too fast when a police motorcyclist tagged onto him and pulled him over.
As the policeman walked towards the car the driver opened his window and started to apologise,"Terribly sorry Officer,late for an appointment,didn`t realise how fast I was going...."
The policeman looks at him and says"That`s all very well Sir,but tell me this....What would happen if Mister Fog came down?"
The driver thinks for a second and says"Well,if Mister Fog came down,I`d um,I`d switch on Mister Headlight,switch on Mister Windscreen Wiper,tread on Mister Brake,and I`d be Mister Jolly Careful".
The policeman looks at him and says"Yes...lets start again Sir,I said what would happen if mist OR fog came down".
 
There was an Irish crooner back in the late sixties/seventies name of Val Doonican,popular in the UK,had his own TV show.
He told a story about when he was young starting out he played in a band which played dates around Ireland,they were booked to play at a village hall dance on a Saturday somewhere in the middle of Ireland.
The arrived about midday and started to set things up on the stage for that evenings performance and Val noticed a chair positioned right in the middle of the dancefloor.THe chair stayed there all afternoon and was still there when the dance started up,and people were having to dance around it.
During a break Val was looking at this chair and thinking"This is really stupid,that chairs been there all afternoon,still there now,no ones bothered to move it,it`s getting in everyone`s way"
So Val walks down ,grabs hold of the chair and moves it out of the way.
The band starts up again,people fill the dancefloor again,and a couple dance over the spot where the chair used to be and fall straight through the floor....
 
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