This weeks joke

Phone conversation after 4 weeks of unprotected sex.

Girlfriend: Hey baby
Boyfriend: Hey babe
Girlfriend: I wanna tell you something
Boyfriend: Ummmmm ..... okay, shoot
Girlfriend: Please promise you won't get mad
Boyfriend: (gets a bit nervous) are you telling me or not?
Girlfriend: (starts to cry) ..... I ..... I ..... I think ...... babe, I think I'm pregnant
Boyfriend: Whaaaaaaaat?
Girlfriend: Yeah ..... I'm pregnant. I missed my period
Boyfriend: You gotta be kidding, right?
Girlfriend: No babe ..... how can I joke about something like this?

Boyfriend hangs up the phone and the girl cries a lot thinking she had lost him for good and is contemplating suicide.

After 30 minutes she hears a knock on the door ...... when she opens the door .... there is her boyfriend kneeling!

Boyfriend: 200 billion stars, 7 continents, 196 countries, 9 planets, 21 provinces, 2 capital cities and I have the privilege of meeting such a sophisticated, motivated, beautiful woman like you ....... let me correct you ...... you are not pregnant ..... WE are pregnant! We're both responsible for the baby ...... I will support you and our baby! So ....... to the love of my life ..... Will you marry me?

Girlfriend: It's not yours.
 
helicopterjim said:
Phone conversation after 4 weeks of unprotected sex.

Girlfriend: Hey baby
Boyfriend: Hey babe
Girlfriend: I wanna tell you something
Boyfriend: Ummmmm ..... okay, shoot
Girlfriend: Please promise you won't get mad
Boyfriend: (gets a bit nervous) are you telling me or not?
Girlfriend: (starts to cry) ..... I ..... I ..... I think ...... babe, I think I'm pregnant
Boyfriend: Whaaaaaaaat?
Girlfriend: Yeah ..... I'm pregnant. I missed my period
Boyfriend: You gotta be kidding, right?
Girlfriend: No babe ..... how can I joke about something like this?

Boyfriend hangs up the phone and the girl cries a lot thinking she had lost him for good and is contemplating suicide.

After 30 minutes she hears a knock on the door ...... when she opens the door .... there is her boyfriend kneeling!

Boyfriend: 200 billion stars, 7 continents, 196 countries, 9 planets, 21 provinces, 2 capital cities and I have the privilege of meeting such a sophisticated, motivated, beautiful woman like you ....... let me correct you ...... you are not pregnant ..... WE are pregnant! We're both responsible for the baby ...... I will support you and our baby! So ....... to the love of my life ..... Will you marry me?

Girlfriend: It's not yours.
Click to expand...
No matter;)
 

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It all started when someone took a bite of an apple, and it all ends with someone taking a bit of a bat.

Cheers,
Jacques
 
Jack, a handsome man, walked into a sports bar around 9:58 pm. He sat down next to this blonde at the bar and stared up at the TV as the 10:00 news came on. The news crew was covering a story of a man on a ledge of a large building preparing to jump.

The blonde looked at Jack and said, "Do you think he'll jump?"

Jack says, "You know what, I bet he will."

The blonde replied, "Well, I bet he won't."

Jack placed $30 on the bar and said, "You're on!"

Just as the blonde placed her money on the bar, the guy did a swan dive off of the building, falling to his death. The blonde was very upset and handed her $30 to Jack, saying, "Fair's fair... Here's your money."

Jack replied, "I can't take your money, I saw this earlier on the 5 o'clock news and knew he would jump."

The blonde replies, "I did too; but I didn't think he'd do it again."


Jack took the money.
 
Thomas aus LAU said:
Seller writes: An item with signs of wear, but in good condition"and "It is a Laverda 750 S/GT/SF chassis no. LAV.750 * 3635 * DGM.5934.OM. , in a good condition." camshaft

same here: ignition plate

Fake advertising for :poop::poop:
🤣 🤣 🤣

Thomas aus LAU
Click to expand...
Some person from Italy was advertising parts from an SF on Facebook. I made an offer for an instrument holder. He came back with a link to this ebayer advertising a well worn ND instrument (1) for euro 199 ..... I replied with a version of good luck that is close to "fuck you". He did not reply.

Jim
 
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