This weeks joke

I made a typo error , instead of "dudes" I meant "dukes" as in when John Wayne says " Them's fighting words. Put up your dukes" - From the Duke himself.

CORRECTED: Don't take offense Chrisk as it kinda changes the meaning as it was my error; however, my typo had hilarious consequences - RLOF !

I am rather Dyslexic but it was just typo in this case ;o)
 
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All this violence...... but anyway, another one...(sorry!!)

My wife and I went to her high school reunion recently.
She kept staring at a drunken man swigging his drink as he sat alone at a nearby table.
I asked her, "Do you know him?"
"Yes", she sighed,
"He's my old boyfriend. I understand he took to drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear he hasn't been sober since."
"My God!" I said, "Who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?"

And then the fight started...
 
Mention of John Wayne.......There`s a story about the shooting of a scene from a film he was in where he was playing a Roman Centurian looking up at Christ on the cross and having to deliver the line " Truly that is the Son of God ".
He delivers this line,but the director says "Thats fine John,just fine,but remember this is the Son of God your`e looking at,can you put more awe into it?
So they shoot it again and John goes " Awww, truly that is the Son of God".

JW was a bit of a bike enthusiast ,appearing in ads.for Hodaka,and used a Honda SL350 to get from motorhome to location whilst filming True Grit.
 
The Irish doctor

"Murphy, I am going fishing tomorrow and don't want to close the clinic.. I want you to take care of the clinic and take care of all me patients"..

"Yes, sir!" answers Murphy, the young intern.

The doctor goes fishing and returns the following day and asks:

“So, Murphy, how was your day?"

Murphy told him that he took care of three patients.

"The first one had a headache so he did, so I gave him Paracetamol."

“Bravo Murphy lad, the second one?" asks the doctor

"The second one had indigestion and I gave him Gaviscon”

"Bravo, bravo! You're good at this and what about the third one?" asks the doctor.

"Sir, I was sitting here and suddenly the door flies open and a young gorgeous woman bursts in”,

“Like a bolt outta the blue, she tears off her clothes”,

“Taking off everything including her bra and her panties and lies down on the table”:

“HELP ME for the love of St Patrick! For five years I have not seen any man!'" she screamed.

"Tunderin' lard Jesus Murphy, what did you do?" asks the doctor…

"I put drops in her eyes."
 
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