This weeks joke

Not so much a joke, just me being a dickhead.

After taking my lawnmower carby apart to give it a clean and to tighten up a loose manifold, I discovered that pulling the throttle lever all the way back also pulls the choke on. Evidently it's only the cold start position, and the lever should be pushed forward a bit once it's running. I've been running it for about 18 years with the throttle pulled fully back to the stop, so that while the throttle butterfly was fully open, the choke butterfly was closed. Fuck me! No wonder it had a habit of running rough and fouling plugs. Now that I've figured that out, it runs much better and a tank of fuel lasts twice as long.  ::)

I thought about going back to where I got it and complain that didn't come with an instruction manual. But I doubt whether the guys at the local tip where I scrounged it from would be very helpful.
 
On a similar vein, drove a mates HQ wagon from Perth to Kal on a stinking hot summers night while he slept the alcohol off in the back. Opened up all the air vents to get some fresh air through the car. Car ran like a pig and guzzled through the fuel. Whooda thunk they would put the choke lever on the dash looking the same as the air vent control? 
 
Dellortoman said:
Not so much a joke, just me being a dickhead.

After taking my lawnmower carby apart to give it a clean and to tighten up a loose manifold, I discovered that pulling the throttle lever all the way back also pulls the choke on. Evidently it's only the cold start position, and the lever should be pushed forward a bit once it's running. I've been running it for about 18 years with the throttle pulled fully back to the stop, so that while the throttle butterfly was fully open, the choke butterfly was closed. Fuck me! No wonder it had a habit of running rough and fouling plugs. Now that I've figured that out, it runs much better and a tank of fuel lasts twice as long.  ::)

I thought about going back to where I got it and complain that didn't come with an instruction manual. But I doubt whether the guys at the local tip where I scrounged it from would be very helpful.
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Actually I don't think at all you were dickhead. Probably you also smelt it runned rich but thought it is just made that way that is actually the case with many garden machines today.

The choke action should had been clearly and visibly marked on the throttle lever and also on the instructions manual. The original idea is not that the device need to be dismantled to figure out how to use it.
 
Yes, but my excuse is that the markings were worn off the lever when I got the mower and I never had a manual.

I couldn't smell it running rich because I normally put a bit of Castrol R30 in the fuel to make it smell like the Manx Nortons and AJS 7Rs that I remember from when my dad used to take me to the Longford bike races as a kid. I call it upper cylinder lube, but really it's a desperate attempt to make the grass mowing more pleasurable.

I found this on a Briggs & Stratton website today:

  "Starting The Engine With Single Control Cable
    1. Place the throttle/choke control into the choke
    position.
    2. Start the engine.
    3. As soon as the engine starts, move the
    throttle/choke control to fast position or
    desired RPM."

Doh ...
 
Yeah, The throttle plate is wide open until the governor lever closes it when the engine is running. The speed control lever actually limits the governor lever movement. Seems kinda bassackwards but it limits the engine speed on the high end while allowing the throttle to open to compensate for increased load.
 
Dellortoman said:
....
I couldn't smell it running rich because I normally put a bit of Castrol R30 in the fuel to make it smell like the Manx Nortons and AJS 7Rs that I remember from when my dad used to take me to the Longford bike races as a kid. I call it upper cylinder lube, but really it's a desperate attempt to make the grass mowing more pleasurable.
...
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Different kind of interesting stuff popped to my mind concerning finnish racing and motorcycle history. My grandpa took my dad to bike races in Helsinki in 1950's and 1960's. Most famous motorcycle and car race in Finland was Finnish Grand Race in Helsinki, or before war it was called Finnish Grand Prix according to this Wikipedia article: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/El%C3%A4intarhan_ajot

Actually the finnish name means "Grand race of Zoo". It was on part of Helsinki named Zoo. There is different explanations why it has that name, but best of them is possibly there was plan to build Zoo there on 19th century, but the Zoo was actually later founded (year 1889) on island not far from centre of Helsinki.

One widely known funny story from there is that one very famous finnish Norton Manx rider drove out of bend and finally got his bike stopped on front of a kiosk. He realized he lost the race, took his helmet off and ordered a doughnut and cup of coffee. My dad was there when it happened.
 
MotoJouni said:
One widely known funny story from there is that one very famous finnish Norton Manx rider drove out of bend and finally got his bike stopped on front of a kiosk. He realized he lost the race, took his helmet off and ordered a doughnut and cup of coffee. My dad was there when it happened.
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I was riding at a street race meeting in a little country town here in Canterbury, NZ, in 1972. A good friend was riding a Matchless G50 and burned out his clutch in practise - he'd been told the track was a longer version used several years earlier.
Parked the G50 on the footpath by the start line and adjourned to the bar of the local pub. You could sit on the line waiting for the start and look across into the bar where he was sitting - wave and he'd raise a glass to you...
He didn't go home empty handed - he won a meat pack in a raffle in the bar....
 
An old one (possibly even posted here before).......but anyway...:-

A woman was very distraught at the fact that she had not had a date or any sex in quite some time.

She was afraid she might have something wrong with her, so she decided to seek the medical expertise of a sex therapist. Her doctor recommended that she see Dr. Chang, the well-known Chinese sex therapist, so she went to see him.

Upon entering the examination room, Dr. Chang said, "OK, take off all you crose." The woman did as she was told. "Now, get down and craw reery, reery fass to odder side of room." Again, the woman did as she was instructed. Dr. Chang then said, "OK, now craw reery, reery fass back to me." So she did.

Dr. Chang shook his head slowly and said, "Your probrem vewy bad. You haf Ed Zachary Disease. Worse case I ever see. Dat why you not haf sex or dates."

Worried, the woman asked anxiously, "Oh my God, Dr. Chang, what is Ed Zachary Disease?"

Dr. Chang looked the woman in the eye and replied, "Ed Zachary Disease is when your face rook Ed Zachary rike your ass."
 
Used to know a 'highly strung' bloke in submarines who's nickname was 'Towtruck' for the same reason.
 
A husband and his wife were celebrating 50 years together. Their three kids, all very successful, all agreed to a Sunday dinner in their honor.

?Happy Anniversary Mom & Dad? gushed son number one, a surgeon, ?Sorry I?m running late. I had an emergency at the hospital with a patient, you know how it is, and didn?t have time to get you a gift.?

?Not to worry? said the father, the important thing is that we?re all together today.?

Son number two, a lawyer, arrived and announced ?You and Mom look great Dad?. I just flew in from Los Angeles between depositions and didn?t have time to shop for you?.

?It?s nothing,? said the father. ?We?re glad you were able to come.?

Just then the daughter,a marketing executive, arrived. ?Hello and Happy Anniversary! I?m sorry but my boss is sending me out of town and I was really busy packing, so I didn?t have time to get you anything.?

After they finished dessert, the father said, ?There?s something your mother and I have wanted to tell you for a long time. You see, we were very poor. Despite this, we were able to send each of you to college. Throughout the years your mother and I knew we loved each other very much, but we just never found the time to get married.?

The three children gasped and all said, ?You mean we?re bastards??

?Yep,? said the father, ?and cheap ones too!?
 
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