This weeks joke

Electronic Facts of Life

This story is written in electrical Jargon. Not all of us are familiar with these terms, but it doesn't take much imagination to understand what they mean.

One day, Micro Farad decided he would get acute Coil Discharge. He picked up his girlfriend, Milly Amp, and took her for a ride on his Megacycle. They rode over Wheatstone Bridge, around by Sine Wave, and stopped in a Magnetic Field by a Flowing Current.

Attracted by Milly's Characteristic Curves, Micro Farad soon had his Resistance at a minimum. He laid her on the Ground Potential, raised her Frequency and pulled out his High Voltage Probe. He inserted it into her Socket. connecting them Parallel and proceeded to create a Short Circuit. Fully Excited, Milly said "MHO, MHO, Give me more MHO" [The reverse of OHM which is a measure of Electrical Resistance.]

They Fluxed all night trying various Connections and Sockets until Micro's Bar Magnet had lost all its Field Strength. With his Battery Discharged, he was unable to excite his Generator. Then Milly tried Self Induction but damaged her Solenoid.

So they finished by Reversing Polarity and Blowing each others Fuses !!!
 
True story:

My wife has had always had curly red hair.

My daughter, a hairdresser, chemically straightened it a few months ago (which I hate, and have let them know it).

My two year old granddaughter has tight curly hair and the conversation came up about the fact, she must have gotten it from my wife.

Which is where I chimed in “Well I wish she’d give it back”
 
As the old saying goes - Beauty is in the eyes of the beer holder -

Why You Never Question a Drunk

A single woman, was shopping at the local supermarket - where she selected:

A half-gallon of 2% milk
A carton of eggs
A quart of orange juice
A head of lettuce
A 2 lb. can of coffee
A 1 lb. package of bacon

As she was unloading her items on the conveyor belt to check out, a drunk standing behind her watched as she placed the items in front of the cashier.
While the cashier was ringing up the purchases, the drunk calmly stated, "You must be single."

She was a bit startled by this proclamation, but she was also intrigued by the derelict's intuition, since she indeed had never found Mr. Right.
She looked at the six items on the belt and saw nothing particularly unusual about her selections that could have tipped off the drunk to her marital status.

Curiosity getting the better of her, she said,
"Yes, you are correct. But how on earth did you know that?"

The drunk replied ...
"because you're ugly."
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top